ANTSY

The known and the unknown

Janice Anne Wheeler Sep 13

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A few weeks ago, my eyes wandered above the tiny camera on the top of my Mac laptop, contemplating a polite inquiry, gazing at a glowing sunset. Not a real one, mind you, but captured, printed, hung on the bulkhead. It will always be my favorite, and that’s saying a lot because, let me assure you, I pay attention to the whole sunset, sunrise, moon phase, planetary conjunction, constellation thing.

Mother Nature’s sunrises and sunsets, sun and moon, stars and planets, are forever changing while remaining predictably, well, predictable.

Maybe that’s the draw. It’s always gonna rise. It’s always gonna set.

All the same perspective…

One can watch the same thing day after day from the same place and yet it’s never exactly the same, allowing both variety and comfort. Maybe that’s the draw.

A few seconds later, I answered her question in a way that didn’t really allow followup. “I’m ANTSY. I think that’s going to be one of my stories coming up. ANTSY.” I smiled at them, my three confidants, hanging in their little zoom squares, each of us in our own comfortable corner, two with their surroundings obscured, one, like me, with a background open to interpretation. I shrugged, leaving the meaning of my current state open to interpretation, too, but with a certain confidence that while they may not relate, these friends can and do respect my constant desire to explore outside the realm.

According to Merriam-Webster, “the meaning of ANTSY is restless, fidgety; also : impatient, eager.

Antsy is the slang term. Restless is more relatable to most, and happens to be the original name of the wooden sailing yacht upon which I live. Her wealthy New York City society-type owner Stuyvesant Fish II custom ordered the vessel named RESTLESS, so there’s a layer in the soul of my home that lives with the feeling, just as I do. Maybe it permeates.

Eager may be my favorite part of the definition. It’s a great adjective, brighter, lighter, than RESTLESS. Years ago, my need to be on the move (and my propensity to be wide awake and exploring the world at the crack of dawn) led relatives to inquire with that annoying expression about ants that I refuse to repeat here. Nonetheless, it is how I find myself describing me right now. ANTSY. Anxious about what I see happening, nervous for a nation that is being modified before my eyes, worried that I can no longer afford to live here, aware there are too many untruths circulating, amazed that protections of wild lands I hold dear, the places which made me who I am, are being removed. I haven’t seen them all, and I want to. I hope to.

My Wanderlust never leaves, honestly. I wrote a Sparring with Mother Nature post entitled WANDERLUST ten months ago, trying to describe and tie down hard-to-define emotions and motivations. Some of it, I have come to realize, is having plans and dreams. For me, a key part of exploration was (and is) the powerful yearning to be somewhere different, even if that place is the same one every year. I’ve always sought the unseen, new air, altered view, but I know many brilliant people who prefer the known experience to the unknown and potentially disappointing one; a friend rents the same little cabin each summer on the Maine coast, my brother’s lifetime of pilgrimages to a childhood favorite, the Grand Canyon. Knowing it’s going to be amazing but never quite the same is the draw. I get it. I get both perspectives.

I’ve felt the disappointment of trying to return to a place that was amazing, and having it not live up to that first experience, then swearing I’d never try to replicate something that is better left to its beautiful memory. This train of thought (OMG I love trains!) is an interesting introspection for me. I’m not restless because things are going badly. It’s not because I’m not busy; there’s always something that needs to be done. Some of it can be put off, some of it can’t. That’s life anywhere. And I love the people in my life here. But damn, I’m ANTSY. ~J

Until next time, SPAR ON! I’m eager to receive another PenPal letter sometime soon from the globe-sailing Linda Jackson as she heads even further west…Papau New Guinea seems on the radar. Here in this hemisphere sunrises are getting later and sunsets earlier as weeks fly by. Enjoy yours!

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WANDERLUST Janice Anne Wheeler   ·   November 23, 2025 Read full story

Here on STEADFAST, weather has become remarkably less predictable, demonstrated by inaccurate forecasts in this region of the US. We’re on our own.

The balance of my archives appear below: Please search your favorite topic, I bet I’ve covered it….in one fashion or another. That’s the draw. Pleasure having you here.

© 2026 Janice Anne Wheeler
HOME IS WHERE WE DROP THE ANCHOR., Annapolis, Maryland, USA